Military Humor

I got these from a friend. Pass them on. Enjoy!

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your
unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
- U.S. Marine Corps
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons."
- General Macarthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal
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"You, you, and you .. Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer
to do anything."
- U.S. Navy Swabbie
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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
-David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, you’re walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper once."
- Anonymous
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"Of every one hundred men, Ten shouldn't even be there, Eighty are nothing
but targets, Nine are real fighters...We are lucky to have them...They make
the battle.
Ah, but the One, One of them is a Warrior...and He will bring the others
back."
- Hericletus (circa 500 B.C.)